This entry is more of a confessional than a reflection. I do not completely understand God, even now after years of reflecting and praying. There is no way that I am alone with this dilemma, but I see it as a good problem. The only harm it has caused me is a feeling of embarrassment–it feels silly to profess a belief in something that I cannot fully understand–but in my mind this is not a defeat.
The lack of understanding simply encourages me to keep thinking and praying about God.
My dilemma came to the forefront of my mind recently when I tried to think of a way to explain my Christian belief system to a non-Christian. What is up with this Jesus? Was he a holy man or was he actually a God? The answer is both, but that is a nonsensical answer. The biggest religions in this world profess to not worship a human, but to an outsider it sure looks like we Christians worship a human being.
Since this is a confessional, I will come out and say that my mind has yet to fully understand the nature of Jesus and the Christian God. I do not understand the religion’s concept of a many but one God, but I choose to stick with this belief system anyway.
Christianity makes a little more sense when I consider the diverse needs that people have. People connect with God in a variety of ways, and when I consider a typical church community, I can see how a church can serve those different needs. For the more thoughtful group, a church service will contain philosophical mysteries. For those who better relate to action instead of reflection, a typical church will offer many volunteer opportunities. Some people better connect with God through physical activity, so the ministries that involve physical work (building houses or constructing irrigation systems, for example) can offer them a spiritual experience.
This idea of diversity and inclusiveness is the closest I can come to explaining why I have not given up on my belief in God, and it is my best explanation of the impossible-to-understand Christian God. God is made of several different forms because different people have different needs: this does not have to result in a religion of chaos. God embraces all of us, and we in turn should embrace each other: this is the truth behind the Christian faith.